Updated: Jan 23, 2020
Relationships. Let's look at some critical elements of a healthy relationship and what an unhealthy relationship looks like. There are many more than 5 signs to each but that's all I'm going to list here today because I will do a follow-up blog.
1. Someone dismisses or minimizes your feelings.
There's no reason for you to be angry, cry or be scared.
2. They say or do things to attempt to make you feel bad about yourself. Saying negative and hurtful things about your intelligence, your worth, your body, etc.
3. You are not positive influences for each other. You don't feel motivated to be a better person when you're around them. Being with them brings out the worst in you and the worst in them.
4. The things that you're interested in they have no desire to communicate with you about them or participate on any level because it does not interest them.
5. You're unsure about being completely transparent, vulnerable or honest with them. Which means you don't feel emotionally safe.
5 signs that you're in a healthy relationship
1. Support; you feel the hands of your partner coming alongside you to assist you in whatever is important to you.
If you have a sick loved one they will be right there by your side. If you are studying for a test they give you the space you need to study without making you feel as though you're neglecting them or they become your study buddy...
2. You give each other space to grow individually. You encourage each other to explore new things in places. You understand that you do not have to be joined at the hip to feel loved. Lack of distance does not determine devotion and dedication. Meaning you do not have to be in the same room all of the time and with each other all the time in order to proclaim your love for each other. You can make and have friends that are not joint friends. You understand that individuality in a relationship is also important. You don't want to be so consumed with the other person that you lose your own identity in the relationship.
3. There's an intimacy on a deeper level than what sex could ever offer. You understand each other, you communicate well with each other, and you express empathy, compassion, understanding, patience, kindness, forgiveness, etc. You realize that we are all humans and we make mistakes and there are many mistakes, so you are quick to forgive. In a healthy relationship, you do not keep a scoreboard of all the times that you have forgiven them or all the times they did you wrong. You continue to grow and build a life together. And the wonderful part of that is that if it's a healthy relationship you will take joy in trying to know more about them, what pleases them, what hurts them. You will continue to learn more about them and get to know them on a deeper level.
4. Fun... You have fun with each other. You don't have to be each other's best friends, but to enjoy spending time with each other is important. Singing, dancing, cooking, skydiving, listening to music, dancing, playing a board game, traveling, playing football, watching a movie, acting, painting, the list is endless. But doing it together, enjoying life together, having a belly laugh, exploring together, experiencing life is what it's about.
5. Your value systems align.
you care about similar things. You may both care about people, the economy, the world, people, family, nature, etc.
You won't be on completely different paths. Although one person may be better at budgeting they both understand that it is a good thing. one may be better at communicating but they both want to communicate and they work at it. They both have a desire to have children or not have children. They both love the Lord and work diligently to build that relationship.
You can see there is a distinct difference between what is healthy and not healthy. Do you need to decide which one are you in right now?