Updated: Jan 30
Have you found yourself lost in the lives of others? Have you forgotten who you are because you have been so consumed with what you considered helping other people?
You are not everyone's lifeboat or lifesaver. Will they be able to figure things out on their own, problem-solve when you're not around? When they're left to their own devices are they going to sink or swim?
There's nothing wrong with equipping people, there's nothing wrong with giving them tools. But always being there to bail them out or not holding them accountable is not benefiting anyone. You have to set healthy boundaries for friends and family members. It's only going to help you and help them in the long run. I'm speaking of healthy boundaries.
No one can tell you what to do in any given situation, you have to make that determination. But you know what is right and what is best in most situations when it concerns you. You just have to process the information, the facts that are right in front of you.
You are the one that's going to have to live with that situation, you're going to have to live with those long-terms consequences of whatever you decide. There will be positive or negative consequences for whatever your decision is. For you and for that person. You have to decide can you live with those.
Can you live with the fallout from your family or your friends if you don't bail someone out of jail? Can you live with the fall-out from people in your family if you don't pay your brother's rent this month and he gets evicted? Can you live with the fallout from your co-worker when they're fired after they ask you to lie for them the third time and you tell your boss they've been embezzling money? Can you live with the fallout from your best friend if you tell them their spouse has been cheating on them and you've known for months but their spouse asked you not to tell?
Boundaries, healthy for you and them. They just don't know it right now.